Truth is Stranger Than Fiction

Even though this fiction is pretty strange.

What a week. If you’re reading this in the future, I’m writing this the day after Donald Trump—along with his vice president-slash-gimp, J.D. Vance—who, for some absolutely insane reason, recently became president for a second term, publicly berated Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskyy. On air. In the Oval Office.

So, future reader, congratulations on being alive. How’s the world holding up? Has World War III kicked off yet?

Anyway, wherever—and whenever—you are, welcome to the first journal entry of my Screenwriting section here on The Bull’s Eye. This is, in many ways, an experiment. To start off, I had no clue how the “Sections” function on Substack worked. If you’re not aware, I’ll explain.

A Section is essentially a secondary newsletter that you can subscribe to separately. They serve different purposes—some publications use them when multiple writers contribute to the same Substack, allowing each to have their own space. In my case, it’s because while film journalism and screenwriting are related, they’re different enough that not everyone following one will automatically care about the other.

A Little Background

As I’m sure I’ve mentioned before—probably in one of my bi-weekly The Bull Sheet updates—I originally started out on the production side of film and TV, after a rather fragmented film education in London, Sydney, and Oslo. And to be honest, I miss it. Or rather, I miss the idea of it.

But somehow, instead of learning to make movies, I learned how to write. And for a long time now, I've been carefully dusting off my old screenwriting skills again. Why carefully, you might ask? Well, as a voter in the Golden Globes (and I'm sure I've mentioned this before too), I'm limited in how I can approach the production side of the industry while staying on the right side of the Conflict of Interest contract I’ve signed as a voter.

But if this story somehow comes alive, we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Because when truth keeps being stranger than fiction, I need to tell stories. And when I tell stories, I write.

And this story, in particular, has been taking up too much space in my already cluttered mind for the better part of two years now.

Take Me to Your Leader

Take Me to Your Leader is a satirical look at our place in not just the world, but the universe. While the world fights and bickers over all manner of stupid reasons—greed, respect, power, pride, ratings, the recipe for the perfect orange spray-tan—a UFO approaches Earth. We are visited by an alien.

But it doesn’t land in the U.S. or some global superpower. It lands in the streets of Oslo, Norway.

Out steps an alien. Friendly, but hesitant—maybe even a little shy—it turns to the nearest shocked bystander and asks to be taken to our leader.

But who is that? Really? And what happens when Norway suddenly finds itself at the center of the world’s attention? More importantly, how will the alien react to all of this?

Take Me to Your Leader is a Norwegian/English feature film that draws inspiration from Arrival (2016), Forrest Gump (1994), E.T. (1982), Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977), H.G. Wells’ The War of the Worlds and the even works of Gary Larson. It features a wide range of—sometimes absurd—characters, mostly fictional or loosely based on real people. But my aim is also to write in real media personalities who will play themselves.

While Take Me to Your Leader is satire and has its laugh-out-loud moments, it isn’t a comedy in the traditional sense. It leans more toward the classical Menippean satire style, focusing on the absurdities of our world rather than throwing pies at everyone just to get a laugh.

What to Expect

Throughout this year, I’ll be using this Section of The Bull’s Eye as a journal, letting you follow the development of the screenplay—and if you’re a paying subscriber, even comment and help shape the story.

Here, you’ll meet the characters, explore the locations, and even see completed scenes as I write them. It’s an extremely early behind-the-scenes look at a project I’ve dreamt of making for a long time now.

I don’t have a specific schedule for how often I’ll post these updates, so we’ll just see how it goes.

Let’s do this.